''New' bypass plans put nature first'  - laugh or weep...?

Conservative Wiltshire Council proudly announced an incredible and untried highway construction concept. Wiltshire Council said that it would be for the benefit of nature.

"We know best.  And before we even think about tackling the proven man-made crisis of climate change, such as with integrated transport at the railway hub here in Westbury, we are going to harness nature, according to novel theories, by developing a road through the countryside on the far side of the town."

It was observed that the plans still showed Wiltshire Council's disallowed barmy eastern bypass route.

On sifting through a pile of documents, not readily apparent elevations of 'batty' gantries were found.
Series of high gantries were intended to be erected over the road as it went through the countryside.

"We will train the bats to fly above them", WC explained.  "Though the idea is not yet proved to work.
But here is a further first for nature: ropes on the gantries over the road for the dormice to run along."

"Why, that really is amazing!"

"Oh yes", was a warm response, "wildlife and motorists from far and wide will enjoy our dream highway.
We will save two minutes of journey time; that is until the twenty minute delay two miles down the road.
But, our nature-first dream bypass would open up drive-through close views of the Westbury White Horse.
We care, passionately, that some of our precious Wiltshire countryside will be only inches from our wheels."

Brushing aside the obvious, that nature and the views exist for people who prefer to walk through the area, Conservative Wiltshire Council concluded:

"This is the age of the motor car, which will go on for ever and ever!"   "Poop-poop!"

... unbelievable...!                 return to Front Page >>